Broken Pianos and Mending Hearts

Buried Secrets. Messy truths. Sexual Abuse. Abandoned pasts. Rape. Shattered dreams. Domestic violence. Broken hearts. Scarred Souls. Crushed spirits. 

Perhaps some of these words apply to someone in our family. Maybe a friend, neighbor, or someone we work with, sit next to in church or chat with on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

Or maybe they apply to us.

Perhaps some of us have been in hiding our whole lives about it.

Hiding the truth of our stories.
Hiding the scars of our souls.

We were never meant to live in isolation and fear. We were never meant to carry such heavy burdens alone. We were never meant to dismiss or trivialize parts of ourselves. We were never supposed to live with lifeless, hopeless, fragile hearts.

But it happens all the time.

Some have tried to share their secrets. Some have tried confiding. Some have opened up those deep, dark places only to be shut down, dismissed, or not heard. Some were made to feel they were at fault or not believed at all.

Ignorance, denial, and silence don't change the truth or help heal broken lives.

Many live in a private hell that no one else sees or knows about. Some manage; others barely get by.

Some try to go on living as if everything's alright like nothing ever happened, but it did.

Some try to ignore the deep visceral pain that often stirs or agitates as an ever-present reminder of what took place.

Some speak around the bruises like a pink elephant in the living room.

Some don't consciously remember but live in a physical body that does.

Some have worked hard to overcome their pain but still have loose ends; they don't quite know what to do with what remains.

How do you say it?

Alive but not really living.

It's like trying to make beautiful music from an old broken-down piano.

It's dusty; it's dull; it's dilapidated.

Many of the keys are missing. Many are stuck. It's out of tune. Out of pitch. Out of order. Harsh conditions and neglect have taken their toll. Its once-vibrant sound is now totally flat.

Yes, it's still a piano, but it is not a fully functioning piano.

It's not a piano that can fully vibrate with its unique, inherent tone. It's not a piano that can express its full depth and range. Not a piano that can deliver what it was really designed to do.

It must be mended to properly play again; it must be restored to truly resonate as it was originally created.

However, the piano cannot do this for itself. It's too broken. Too worn down. Too out of tune.

It must have help. And not just any help, but help from someone who is specially trained in piano restoration. Someone who knows the whole delicate process and understands what is required. Someone who loves broken pianos and likes helping them return to their proper functioning and sound.

It's like that with us –

God knows our stories.
He knows our truths.
He knows our struggles.

He knows our secrets, too; regardless of how painful, ugly, or messy they are; regardless of how hidden or under the radar they might be.

He also knows the cost of living with them unhealed – we aren't fully functioning. We're out of tune. Off-key. Flat. Every part of us.

The untold pain and trauma often settle in the recesses of the heart, layers of the soul, and tissues of the body. These places might feel numb or unaffected but are very sore and tender. And not just anybody can touch them, nor should they.

The Father is an expert at knowing how to tend to such places. 

He understands what delicate work it is. 

He knows the terrain. 

He knows it's painful. 

He also knows it's essential and worthwhile.

He knows all the intricacies of major heart surgery. 

He knows how to heal broken hearts and wounded souls.

And He knows the best healing path for each person.

Jesus is a true healer; He heals himself directly. He also often works through those who know how to tend to pain and brokenness with the tender loving care He desires.

He's got people who are trained in heart restoration. People who know the whole delicate process and understand what is required. People who love those wounded and broken hearts in need of mending. People who like helping restore those precious hearts to their proper functioning and sound. People He works through to help mend all the pieces - His inner healers.

Do you realize we each have our own unique signature or sound that nobody else can mimic? It's a distinctive God-given characteristic, and no one has the right to take it from you. If your sound is diminished or entirely silenced, it can't ever be replaced.

There can never be another you. Never.

That silence cannot be equally replaced by another because there is no other sound like your sound. Whomever or whatever might be used to fill the void will never sound exactly how it was intended because it isn't your sound. And the world will have lost a great gift - the gift of your uniquely beautiful sound. 

Dear Broken Hearts, Scarred Souls, and Crushed Spirits:

Please come out of hiding. Please know you have the right to be seen and heard. Please know you have the right to live in joy and wholeness. Please know that's precisely what God wants for you too.

He doesn't want to judge you or condemn you. He wants to care for you. He wants to love you the way you were always supposed to be loved. He wants to help you heal.

Your deep pain hurts Him deeply. You may feel like no one's ever listened to you or seen you, but God has. He knows the truth, what happened, and what was stolen from you. He knows the terrible injustice. He knows it all.

And guess what?

He adores you. He looks at you with eyes of deep compassion and true, abiding love. You are an absolute treasure to Him. He highly values and cherishes you. You mean more to Him than you even know.

You are His beloved.

So come and bring your shattered dreams, come and breathe in His love, come and know.

Know you were made for more; know you are worth it and know He will help you find someone who has His heart and is trained in His restoration process.

Most of all, He wants you to really know genuine love. Love that really sees you hears you and respects you. Love that really longs for you to be free. 

Free to shine and be the beautiful you He created you to be.  

Free to express the sound you were uniquely designed to carry.

Free to be the gift that you are. 

Free to be you.

Michelle Holderman 
Copyright © 2015 

P.S. For all of you, male or female, who have suffered this kind of abuse or trauma in your life, for all who are struggling and who are working to heal, please know you are not alone. You might feel lost, but He's not lost you. God is for you and cares deeply about you. You're on His heart and mind, and He's laid you on my heart and mind as well. Please know I am praying for you, precious friends. I'm praying for you to see yourself as He sees you. You are so beautiful to Him, and He wants to help you find your way. Listen to His voice; listen for those holy whispers. He wants to love you back to life and give you hope for your future. 

In His Great Love,



  1. This is so amazing, Michelle. your writings are so profound. Only God! He speaks through your heart and soul and touches others. Blessings......

    1. Renee, thank you so much! Your words mean a great deal to me. It is one of my heart's desires for Him to speak through me and touch others with His love, hope, truth, and grace. God bless you, friend.

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you, RV Expert. I must give credit to the Holy Spirit for it. He's the one who gave me this analogy. And I agree; it is amazing! Appreciate you taking the time to comment. Blessings to you. ~ Michelle

  3. Really Amazing!!!! Thank you for taking the time to write this Master (Master's Piece) Piece. God Loves #You. God bless you!!!!

    1. Dear Unknown, thank you! And thank you for taking the time to comment. This really did come from His heart, as you clearly know. So glad it spoke to you. God bless you also!! - Michelle